Random thoughts: I love being a free man. I can do all the drugs, drink all the booze, and sleep in as late as I want. I have no responsibilities and am now officially my own man. I have started hitting the gym more and am trying to be productive. I see hope in the future but it is intertwined with regret at blowing my money, being a shitty Marine, and being alone. For the above I have myself to blame. A lot of the time my own apathy or my combativeness drives wedges between myself to those I hold dear. I have been an angry man lately because I am a 23 year old man living at home with my mother and get no sex other than what I can do with my own hand. I have tried talking to girls and putting myself out there. The bottom line is whatever I am doing is not working. I am not happy and realize that I need to improve. I have not undertaken the drastic steps needed to improve my current situation. It would be nice right now to have somebody to talk to and share my bed with. Alas that would be folly due to living at home. I enjoy wallowing in my misery even though I know I need to improve my current situation. My problems include a car that is on it's last legs, being a cocky ass to cover up my own insecurities, and my failures with the opposite sex. I spend to much time in front of a computer or television. I do not study or apply myself fully in anything. I do not know if I possess the requisite focus needed to excel in life. This blog started because I needed to vocalize my frustrations in life. As an adolescent to now my problems have changed but I have not reached my potential. I recognize my problems and now it is time to address them by: 1. Quit procrastinating and focus. 2. Get a real part time job. 3. Study and hit the books so I can move to Wilmington. 4. Fix the car or get a new one. 5. Talk to at least 10 new women a week. 6. Lift and do sprints 4 days a week. 7. Limit computer time to 2 hours per day. 8. Pick up an instrument and play one hour per day. 9. Turn negative energy into production. 10. Start MMA lessons. 11. Save 200 dollars per month. 12. Be an optimist. 13. Life is fun so enjoy it. 14. Stop freaking out on dog for no reason. 15. Lastly know yourself and seek self improvement.